Make of this what you will. I don't care about belief systems and I certainly need no one's but my own. Despite some of the craziest shit I've ever seen on TV, this takes the cake
"Since Loki began communicating with me, he's given me great pointers on magic and how to get to the heart of the matter. The woods is where we meet with him. A ritual giving thanks, a making of offerings and then deep meditation (sometimes it helps to smoke a little something)
Also, the gods often test you. They seem to get off on it.
In any case, I'm the only one who can write the book about the Secret Whisky and Loki & Me.
The time is not sufficiently ripe to offer the world The Revelation of WIZ-SHAM!, at least that's what Jonah Prophet told me.
Or all of this is made up and I'm experiencing a profound psychotic break complete with its own Overseer to help me and to act as a guide and guerrilla ontologist, very much in the same spirit as a tour guide/ presenter would. Either that or i'm batshit crazy and trippin' ballzors on something heinous they put in my veins. I could be writing this missive for far too long now, it's always hard to tell.
A third option to explain one's weird behaviour is a secret fear. Do you know what a Secret Fear is? It's a fear that you suppress for so long, it almost becomes a tumour, but once the psychological testing and screening process is completed move to another line-up down the hall. There you will receive a de-lousing and a hot, high pressure shower. Keep going straight on down where you will find fresh uniforms and clean towels, blankets... anything a patient might need.
Who said we were patients? The guards quickly moved on, being somewhat embarrassed by the tricks and pranks of these miscreants.
The winds had died down and it had gotten a little cooler over by the trees. As they made their way from shadow to shadow to avoid getting picked up by the non-stop motion of the passive infrared cameras, always approach a security camera from behind. We don't need to tip our hats toward him before the chase, for surely the magical pot of gold would be much more value. So tonight we will divide the spoils amongst ourselves and the King.
Until then, why not stay the night behind our three rings of stone?
If you don't mind that nasty fruit bat, we got some on the grill right now. You're more than welcome to join them...
... BOOM! BOOM! Crack! CRUNCH! There was glass everywhere and the kitchen floor was a sea of tiny little glass points sticking up as deadly as caltrops.
I took the big man's money before throwing a final, perfunctory haymaker aiming straight at the underside of his chin. CLANG! From behind me, his partner came at me again with the shovel. This time I ducked, grabbed him by his ballsack and they held him down, screaming bloody, blue murder! MURDER!
When I got up, he was gone, but at least the bomb was something of a dud. I tossed it to one side and grabbed for the large maul hammer and, with his back still turned toward the window, there he was, like the Devil inside us all.
You know how, like, sometimes you're, like, really, really high and you're all like, horny and looking for a bit of scroungin'. That's a real rough neighbourhood where you can find all that?
*****************An Experiment In Narrative***********************"