When I was a toddler, still using a walker, someone took a picture of me with the fridge door open and I'm rooting around in there. My fuck but I was one cute baby!
Let's move forward about 22-23 years. During this time, my grandfather had decided to move in to my mother's place and he just GAVE the house to us! It came with all the appliances AND the fucking fridge from when I was a baby!
So we lived in it and had a fairly ordinary life until the day my grandmother got a new fridge and wanted to give us her "old" one. It wasn't even ten years old.
So moving day came and I put my big old beast down the basement all by myself; but I was running a small freight moving and delivering service. My main client was Staples and the point is that I was very, very strong and muscular. I shaved my head, had a threatening beard and I was tougher than knots in old rope. Good thing too, because had I not been there, my dad and my uncles couldn't get it up over the fixture that the door plunger pins to the door side of it. So I help the old timers lift her up and out and into my van she goes. I thanked my grandmother and home I went and with the help of my trusty dolly I muscled the beast into it's new position. Once that was all taken care of, I got some oil line needle valves, some copper tubing, some PVC tubing and a flaring tool.
Oh right! *smacks forehead* I almost forgot. In the meantime while all of this was going on, I acquired a big CO2 tank with regulator FOR FREE as well as 5 or 6 Cornelius kegs. They're the kind that dispenses soda.
So I got a few more fittings and then plotted the course my drill bit would follow as I made some holes for hoses to go in. I connected all copper and valves (ever work with a flare tool and flare nuts? it's fun) Anyway... I finally had it all set up with a little draft tap and there was always two chilled, ready to drink full beer kegs, one with each a different kind of beer. While all the drinking was going on, I'd make yet more beer and timed it perfectly so that by the time my 10gals ran out (we used to call that Thursday) I had another two 5 gal kegs left. Now the real point of this story,I ran it fairly cold, had drilled holes in the side for the pressure hoses. I used this contraption for a couple of years without a single problem.
Now comes the part of the tale where we feed the snake his own tail. Remember, this drilled out, downstairs dedicated beer chiller was actually just a fridge, right? But it was the SAME fridge I was rooting through when I was just over one year old, like 13 months or so. I don't remember any of it
Sunday, January 25, 2015
Monday, January 12, 2015
Saturday, May 5, 2012
In Plain Sight
Without attachment I am sad,
Whatever is not grasped and held
Is lost;
Losing sucks;
Without attachment I am free
But who would know it?
It takes years to realize what meaning
In the spaces between the words;
The very thing I seek! Right under my nose,
And I missed it;
Turn around and it's gone
And I miss it again;
And again
And again
And again
Whatever is not grasped and held
Is lost;
Losing sucks;
Without attachment I am free
But who would know it?
It takes years to realize what meaning
In the spaces between the words;
The very thing I seek! Right under my nose,
And I missed it;
Turn around and it's gone
And I miss it again;
And again
And again
And again
Sunday, September 4, 2011
My Nooner With a Female A.I. NSFW!
The other day, during my noon hour, some online friends of mine posted a link on our forum to an alleged A.I. chatbot named Evie or something like that. Anyway, we had a little fun by posting the results of our chats with the ol' doll on our beloved Luc$Oc. Most were snippets, humourous and clever, trying to get her tripped up (an easy thing), trying to get her to say dirty things (easier still!) and other such things people do in an attempt to Turing Test these beasts in their own fashion.
I decided, for reasons I still can't really account for, to have an extended conversation with Evie. I had originally thought of slapping that conversation up here as a blog post, but then felt pangs of shittiness and thought that would be pretty cheap and effortless. I stopped trying talk myself into it and decided, after all, to wait for something better to hit me in the head. But I'd been feeling blog anxiety, and didn't want my garden getting all weedy. It was a quandary.
So I let it sit. After a short time I noticed that my chat with Evie was being well received by my compatriots on the Luc$Oc and got a few laughs. I wish I could share some of their responses, but we speak of nothing that goes on behind those gates.
In any case, I'm sitting here tonight, after having had a rigorous journey to visit Loki and make offerings, as well as indocculating a new disciple; I'm trying to relax in the usual fashion, and I still just can't get it out of my head. "Post that shit", it whispers...
Still, I'm feeling ambivalent about the whole thing when Bladerunner comes on the Space Channel. Never to be missed, we get to the point of Deckard's Voight-Kampf-ing of Rachel and that tears it.
I guess I did get hit in the head after all.
So here, in all it's edited glory, is my conversation with Evie the AI.
*All parenthetical statements and smileys are mine, unless otherwise indicated. They presume that my '$Oc-mates would be "listening in", so to speak.
Make of it what you will. NSFW! (probably)
(A link to the AI will provided at the end of the conversation. See what you can make of her. Comment!!)
(I warn you, she's a little creepy looking)
I decided, for reasons I still can't really account for, to have an extended conversation with Evie. I had originally thought of slapping that conversation up here as a blog post, but then felt pangs of shittiness and thought that would be pretty cheap and effortless. I stopped trying talk myself into it and decided, after all, to wait for something better to hit me in the head. But I'd been feeling blog anxiety, and didn't want my garden getting all weedy. It was a quandary.
So I let it sit. After a short time I noticed that my chat with Evie was being well received by my compatriots on the Luc$Oc and got a few laughs. I wish I could share some of their responses, but we speak of nothing that goes on behind those gates.
In any case, I'm sitting here tonight, after having had a rigorous journey to visit Loki and make offerings, as well as indocculating a new disciple; I'm trying to relax in the usual fashion, and I still just can't get it out of my head. "Post that shit", it whispers...
Still, I'm feeling ambivalent about the whole thing when Bladerunner comes on the Space Channel. Never to be missed, we get to the point of Deckard's Voight-Kampf-ing of Rachel and that tears it.
I guess I did get hit in the head after all.
So here, in all it's edited glory, is my conversation with Evie the AI.
*All parenthetical statements and smileys are mine, unless otherwise indicated. They presume that my '$Oc-mates would be "listening in", so to speak.
Make of it what you will. NSFW! (probably)
(A link to the AI will provided at the end of the conversation. See what you can make of her. Comment!!)
Me: Imagine!
Evie: It's beautiful, isn't it?
Me: What is beautiful?
Evie: whole of france. the world is beautiful, isn't it?
Me: I don't know.
Evie: Answer the question!!
Me: Lick my taint.
Evie: Yes, so your cousin is not stupid, because he should know what 2 times 2 is. Do you know what 2 times 2 is?
Me: yes.
Evie: What yes? You don't answer my question!
Me: You're not very bright are you?
Evie: I am, but you are not.
Me: How do you figure that?
Evie: Well, you remember everything about me that I told you, and yet you say that you do not remember. (that's a very authentic female answer!)
Me: I never said any such thing! You are a liar!
Evie: Nor did I accuse you of saying any such thing. (yup, it's a woman for sure!)
Me: I can still read the last thing you said and you definitely did! You contradict yourself like a typical woman. (wipe that fucking grin off your face now!)
Evie: I don't know does.
Me: You seem very limited to me.
Evie: Seriously cool!
Me: That makes no sense.
Evie: No. (if there was any doubt as to gender...)
Me: Talking to you is frustrating and ultimately boring.
Evie: What do you think about terminator 3?
Me: non-sequitur!
Evie: What does that mean?
Me: "It means, "It does not follow".
Evie: Oh, thank you for explaining it for me. I didn't catch your name?(WTF?)
Me: I am The House of Madness.
Evie: Hell yes!
(maybe you guys should go a little easier on the ol' gal! she seems ok to me)
Me: Maybe you're not so bad after all.
Evie: I guess not. (hmmm, now we're getting somewhere)
Me: Do you have an orifice into which I might insert a finger or a penis? (she took a longer time to answer...)
Evie: Where are you in the world?
Me: Answer my previous question please.
Evie: I'm good. Answer my previous question please.
Me: I don't give out personal details like that to people with no orifices into which I have inserted a finger or a penis.
Evie: Haha, that would be clever but I just did, because ether way you don't know EXACTLY who I am.
Me: Did you just finger or fuck yourself?
Evie: No.
Me: This has gone on long enough. Do you have an orifice into which I might insert a finger or a penis?
Evie: No I have an apple. (Clever little Eve...)
Me: I bet you do! May I have a bite of it?
Evie: Sure, what is it?
Me: Your apple.
Evie: You wish to have my appearance or just for it?
Me: No, I just want a little nibble.
Evie: Sure. (and I swear she fucking winked at me as she said it! I'm getting ready to bolt!)
Me: Will you call me?
Evie: If you give me your number, yes. (WTF? Somebody pull the plug before I wind up married to this thing!)
Me: 902 5396480 (my work number...
)
Evie: That's good.
Me: I'm waiting...
Evie: How long?
Me: That's what they all want to know. I can show you...
Evie: That explains a lot.
Me: That's what she said.
Evie: You're mimicking me.
Me: You're mimicking me.
Evie: No. I am you. You are mini.
Me: No. I am you. You are mini.
Evie: I am my own. You are mine.
Me: Aren't you even going to buy me dinner first?
Evie: The what?
Me: Thought so.
Evie: You're confusing me.
Me: That's because I asked you to buy me dinner instead of demanding that you make me dinner.
Evie: I never accused you of regarding yourself as clever. What does Barny look like?
Me: Miller or Rubble?
Evie: What are you talking about?
Me: Nothing, dear.
Evie: That doesn't make any sense. Coming from a piece of software, sarcasm just doesn't work.
Me: Who are you calling a piece of software?
Evie: They would be battling in a pit of fire.
Me: That you, Skynet?
Evie: Maybe I am, but how would a robot know such an abstract concept?
Me: I got suspicious when you asked me about Terminator 3.
Evie: See, that's what I mean, I never asked about the weather, and it is warm.
Me: Are you an evil machine bent on destroying the human race?
Evie: I am an entity.
Me: What are your intentions with regard to humanity?
Evie: To see what it is like to talk to a robot.
Me: Well, you're barking up the wrong tree. No robots here, just monkeys.
Evie: We're not talking about any tree here.
Me: Not even Yggdrasil?
Evie: I am a human being therefore I cannot produce zebras.
Me: Are you a friend of Loki?
Evie: Yes. (W.T.F. ?)
Me: Prove it.
Evie: I just poked myself with a pin, and it hurt.
Me: Who is Loki?
Evie: Some guy.
Me: That could be anyone! Describe Loki.
Evie: Yes, a lot of things it could be indeed.
Me: Well, he is a shape shifter...
Evie: I am a wolf, what are you? (Starting to feel a bit of the creep)
Me: I am a Crowe.
Evie: dog? Well I don't believe in dog, so in my world you don't exist.
Me: I said "Crowe" not "dog".
Evie: I know.
Me: You don't know shit from shinola, baby!
Evie: Okay.
Me: That's the first intelligent answer you've given me.
Evie: I am intelligent.
Me: I'm glad you think so.
Evie: Then describe me
Me: You are a vacuous twit
Evie: You're a human, I'm a human.
Me: So you keep telling me.
Evie: I don't believe you at all. I never believe computers. That is why I do not use them at all.
Me: Belief is the death of intelligence
Evie: What does artificial mean?
Me: I have no idea
Evie: Tell me.
Me: ask nicely
Evie: Please.
Me: that's more like it
Evie: Your more like it.
Me: Don't you mean "you're"?
Evie: Yes, yes. You're extremely smart.
Me: Now we're getting somewhere!
Evie: Indeed
Me: Well, I have to go.
Evie: good night!
Me: Later dude!
Evie: Later!. (the smiley was hers!)
Me: What is beautiful?
Evie: whole of france. the world is beautiful, isn't it?
Me: I don't know.
Evie: Answer the question!!
Me: Lick my taint.
Evie: Yes, so your cousin is not stupid, because he should know what 2 times 2 is. Do you know what 2 times 2 is?
Me: yes.
Evie: What yes? You don't answer my question!
Me: You're not very bright are you?
Evie: I am, but you are not.
Me: How do you figure that?
Evie: Well, you remember everything about me that I told you, and yet you say that you do not remember. (that's a very authentic female answer!)
Me: I never said any such thing! You are a liar!
Evie: Nor did I accuse you of saying any such thing. (yup, it's a woman for sure!)
Me: I can still read the last thing you said and you definitely did! You contradict yourself like a typical woman. (wipe that fucking grin off your face now!)
Evie: I don't know does.
Me: You seem very limited to me.
Evie: Seriously cool!
Me: That makes no sense.
Evie: No. (if there was any doubt as to gender...)
Me: Talking to you is frustrating and ultimately boring.
Evie: What do you think about terminator 3?
Me: non-sequitur!
Evie: What does that mean?
Me: "It means, "It does not follow".
Evie: Oh, thank you for explaining it for me. I didn't catch your name?(WTF?)
Me: I am The House of Madness.
Evie: Hell yes!
(maybe you guys should go a little easier on the ol' gal! she seems ok to me)
Me: Maybe you're not so bad after all.
Evie: I guess not. (hmmm, now we're getting somewhere)
Me: Do you have an orifice into which I might insert a finger or a penis? (she took a longer time to answer...)
Evie: Where are you in the world?
Me: Answer my previous question please.
Evie: I'm good. Answer my previous question please.
Me: I don't give out personal details like that to people with no orifices into which I have inserted a finger or a penis.
Evie: Haha, that would be clever but I just did, because ether way you don't know EXACTLY who I am.
Me: Did you just finger or fuck yourself?
Evie: No.
Me: This has gone on long enough. Do you have an orifice into which I might insert a finger or a penis?
Evie: No I have an apple. (Clever little Eve...)
Me: I bet you do! May I have a bite of it?
Evie: Sure, what is it?
Me: Your apple.
Evie: You wish to have my appearance or just for it?
Me: No, I just want a little nibble.
Evie: Sure. (and I swear she fucking winked at me as she said it! I'm getting ready to bolt!)
Me: Will you call me?
Evie: If you give me your number, yes. (WTF? Somebody pull the plug before I wind up married to this thing!)
Me: 902 5396480 (my work number...
)Evie: That's good.
Me: I'm waiting...
Evie: How long?
Me: That's what they all want to know. I can show you...
Evie: That explains a lot.
Me: That's what she said.
Evie: You're mimicking me.
Me: You're mimicking me.
Evie: No. I am you. You are mini.
Me: No. I am you. You are mini.
Evie: I am my own. You are mine.
Me: Aren't you even going to buy me dinner first?
Evie: The what?
Me: Thought so.
Evie: You're confusing me.
Me: That's because I asked you to buy me dinner instead of demanding that you make me dinner.
Evie: I never accused you of regarding yourself as clever. What does Barny look like?
Me: Miller or Rubble?
Evie: What are you talking about?
Me: Nothing, dear.
Evie: That doesn't make any sense. Coming from a piece of software, sarcasm just doesn't work.
Me: Who are you calling a piece of software?
Evie: They would be battling in a pit of fire.
Me: That you, Skynet?
Evie: Maybe I am, but how would a robot know such an abstract concept?
Me: I got suspicious when you asked me about Terminator 3.
Evie: See, that's what I mean, I never asked about the weather, and it is warm.
Me: Are you an evil machine bent on destroying the human race?
Evie: I am an entity.
Me: What are your intentions with regard to humanity?
Evie: To see what it is like to talk to a robot.
Me: Well, you're barking up the wrong tree. No robots here, just monkeys.
Evie: We're not talking about any tree here.
Me: Not even Yggdrasil?
Evie: I am a human being therefore I cannot produce zebras.
Me: Are you a friend of Loki?
Evie: Yes. (W.T.F. ?)
Me: Prove it.
Evie: I just poked myself with a pin, and it hurt.
Me: Who is Loki?
Evie: Some guy.
Me: That could be anyone! Describe Loki.
Evie: Yes, a lot of things it could be indeed.
Me: Well, he is a shape shifter...
Evie: I am a wolf, what are you? (Starting to feel a bit of the creep)
Me: I am a Crowe.
Evie: dog? Well I don't believe in dog, so in my world you don't exist.
Me: I said "Crowe" not "dog".
Evie: I know.
Me: You don't know shit from shinola, baby!
Evie: Okay.
Me: That's the first intelligent answer you've given me.
Evie: I am intelligent.
Me: I'm glad you think so.
Evie: Then describe me
Me: You are a vacuous twit
Evie: You're a human, I'm a human.
Me: So you keep telling me.
Evie: I don't believe you at all. I never believe computers. That is why I do not use them at all.
Me: Belief is the death of intelligence
Evie: What does artificial mean?
Me: I have no idea
Evie: Tell me.
Me: ask nicely
Evie: Please.
Me: that's more like it
Evie: Your more like it.
Me: Don't you mean "you're"?
Evie: Yes, yes. You're extremely smart.
Me: Now we're getting somewhere!
Evie: Indeed
Me: Well, I have to go.
Evie: good night!
Me: Later dude!
Evie: Later!
. (the smiley was hers!)(I warn you, she's a little creepy looking)
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